Archive for the Dirty Creatures Category

R.I.P. Dirty Creatures, 2005 – 2009

Posted in Dirty Creatures on 29 January, 2009 by sonal

Remember way back when I started this blog, how I would talk about my great full length play?

The one that was going to shake New Zealand audiences, would play it so close to the edge it would be … er … edgy? My grand opus?


Three and a half drafts later, it is time to put my beloved dirty creatures to rest. Yes. To the dark recesses of the hard drive (with a CD copy) it will be committed, never to be seen or heard again.

Over the years I have tried to craft it, I have forgotten what it was that I wanted to say. Even when I was writing it, the premise was not always clear to me. The idea of a artist blowing himself up was intriguing (that was the surprise ending), but I could never get the idea to fully develop into something satisfying.

I don’t know whether this counts as a failure or just part of the journey to something better. I’ve learnt a few lessons from it – for starters, doing a treatment is a really good way to structure a play and if you can’t summarise your play in a sentence, then it’s not going to be clear to the audience either. Well that’s certainly the case for me. At the moment, I don’t feel like I have anything meaningful to say and if anything, I want my work to be meaningful. I don’t want to just be writing for the sake of writing.

There are bits of prose that I’ve been working on (you’ve seen some of it already) and there are a couple of satire pieces I’m working on. But for now, anyway, I think my voice is still to come and that my best writing will arrive in a few years yet.

Just not now.


Daily Cerealisation: Dirty Creatures – Ep 11. (Shiny new version)

Posted in Daily Cereal, Dirty Creatures on 1 August, 2007 by sonal

Guard B resumes shaving the Playwright while the other two guards hold him down.

Guard B: So, you write?
Pay well?
Ever thought about throwing it all in?
My boy here thinks he’s a bit of a poet.

Guard A: Mum!

Guard B: What did I say?

Guard A: Sorry ma’am.

Guard B: Go on, read him some of your stuff.

Guard A: No!

Guard B: He’s modest. I said, read it to him, or I’ll do it for you.

Guard A: I don’t, I don’t know any.

Guard B: What about that one you’ve got in your pocket?

Guard A: No.

Guard B: Waiting for a quiet moment to meet him?

Guard A: No I wasn’t.

Guard B: So you do have one on you? Give it here.
I said, give it here.

She reads the following to herself. It’s up to the production to decide how and whether this poem is ever revealed …
The poem reads: You showed me the horizon
You wanted me to see,
Your happy children dancing in the sunlight,
Without a care, Lasezze faise
In fraternity,
In liberty,
In property and prosperity

But I couldn’t see anything
Except sky
And earth
And rain
And you mad at me because I could not see
My own hand in front of my face
The truth in front of my eyes, that I was calling lies
You called me a dirty creature – unintelligent, wilfully negligent of
Your feelings
Your hopes
Your desires
And you would not believe me
When I said that all I could see
Was sky
And earth
And rain

Guard B: What is this?

Guard A: Nothing.

Guard B: What’s that?

Guard A: It’s nothing ma’am.

Guard B: Shall I show it to our friend here?

Leader’s Guard: Oh, I don’t (like poems) …

Guard A: No!

Guard B screws up the poem into a ball and drops it. She returns to shaving the Playwright.

Guard B: Go home.

Guard A: What?

Guard B: You’re dismissed, go home.

Guard A: I’m not (going home) …

Guard B: Stand down Sergeant. You’re no longer required today.

Guard A leaves. The set up continues in the room.

So, about that play

Posted in Daily Cereal, Dirty Creatures on 31 July, 2007 by sonal

One of the disadvantages of posting a work in progress is that you will go back and throw out whole chunks because the bit you wrote just doesn’t work.

So last night I threw out the last three pages of the play because it didn’t progress the story as well as I wanted it to. The last two episodes are no longer, so I’ve password protected them out of the canon (and so I’ve got them on archive in case I want to reuse that material later). The new shiny bits will go up later today, but if you are curious about what the changes are and want to compare the password is: It’s crap

Because it really, really is …

Protected: Daily Cerealisation – Dirty Creatures, Ep 12 (old version)

Posted in Daily Cereal, Dirty Creatures on 30 July, 2007 by sonal

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Protected: Daily Cerealisation: Dirty Creatures – Ep 11. (Old version)

Posted in Daily Cereal, Dirty Creatures on 23 July, 2007 by sonal

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Daily Cerealisation: Dirty Creatures – Ep 10.

Posted in Daily Cereal, Dirty Creatures on 19 July, 2007 by sonal

Guard A and the Leader’s Guard take the Playwright into the bathroom. Guard B opens the hotel room door, signals down the corridor and pulls in a laundry trolley. She takes the bag off the end and pulls out the shirt, the hoodie and new wiring. She lays them out on the table. She prepares a shaving kit next to the shirt. While she does this, a variety of technicians come in and start to wire up the room with light stands, reflectors, microphones etc, creating an interview area. The Playwright, Guard A and the Leader’s Guard re-enter the room. They dress the Playwright taking care to wire him up properly. Guard B sits in front of him and begins to shave him with a razor. The other Guards begin to wire him up, the Playwright struggles.

Guard B: Stay still 228, you wouldn’t want me to accidentally cut your throat now would you?

Playwright: I don’t care.

Guard B: Hey, you know what, that’s fine with me, I really don’t care. Of course, it does mean that I’m going to have to tell, er … what’s their names again?

Leader Guard: Mei and Lily.

Guard B: Yes, Mei and Lily … I just don’t quite know what words to use with such little ones. How do you tell them that their father would rather die that seeing them without creating too much trauma?
You do want to see them, don’t you?

© Sonal Patel, 2007

Daily Cerealisation: Dirty Creatures – Ep 9.

Posted in Daily Cereal, Dirty Creatures on 18 July, 2007 by sonal


The lights snap up as the Playwright suddenly regains consciousness. He sits up with a start. He is in a plush hotel room. He looks around confused. He is now in a dressing gown, he feels around his stomach, it’s sore but there are no wires. He climbs out of bed and opens the bathroom door. Inside, two of the NZ guards are playing cards. They look up from their game, the Playwright slams the door shut again, he opens the curtains and one of the Leader’s guards is having a smoke. The guards re-enter the room.

Guard B: Good morning 228.

Guard A: Number 228 you will stand at the front of your Residence with your hands raised, (palms open) …

Guard B: No, you don’t need to do that here.

Guard A: I thought every opportunity is a good (opportunity) …

Guard B: It’s inappropriate here.

Guard A: Why.

Guard B: Because we’re no longer in a prison you moron.

Guard A: Mum! Not in front (of him).

Guard B: And don’t call me that when we’re working.

Guard A: Fine, sir.

Guard B: Watch it you. Go get him showered.

© Sonal Patel, 2007