The Calling

You know you’re homesick when* …

As I said in yesterday’s rant, I’m at the point where I feel I need to defend my voice or at least I now think I know what my voice isn’t (which is not as good as knowing what it is, but I’ll clutch at these few straws for now). I received a critique on how darkly I’ve been looking at the world with each draft and every time I been given the suggestion of something lighter or happier for the characters, something redeeming, I’m unable to feel the truth of that situation.

I wonder if I’m starting to fit into the idea of a cinema of unease … the style of story telling that I’m becoming more comfortable with comes from home. My story world is at home and now as I struggle with the characters and the story, I feel a need to reconnect, to stop running away from the landscape.

The mountains are calling. Dark, oppressive, foreboding, they’re calling me home. I can feel the call in my heart – every night I dream of them and the long shadows that they cast. My memories of them are not sunny or warm but cold and brooding.

This is a strange headspace to be in.

(* yes, I’m in a desperate state – I’ve got the Two Towers on for god’s sake! Yesterday it was Braindead, last week it was Eagle Vs Shark and now I wish I had a copy of Sleeping Dogs, Goodbye Pork Pie, Came A Hot Friday, Out of the Blue, The Price of Milk, In My Father’s Den …)


4 Responses to “The Calling”

  1. I have goodbye pork pie if you want 🙂

    We watched bloody stickmen on Saturday night….

    Hmm… me thinks I miss Welly a bit too 😀

  2. Late reply: Boy will send you over the edge – would be extremely difficult to watch when homesick and separated from the culture and country. It’s in the Edinburgh Film Fest (whenever that is) but no UK distributor yet sadly.

  3. PS I have In My Father’s Den, Out of the Blue and World’s Fastest Indian…

  4. It’s in Edinburgh? Hope Sam gets sent up there so I can go (it’s the last couple of weeks of June).

    Also, yes please, would like to borrow Den and Indian, please.

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