The Other Election

As America awakes to Martin Luther King’s dream, New Zealand continues on a slow zombie lurch towards … well … more of the same.

It’s hard to get fired up about this election.

Forget that there isn’t a figure whose great command of oratory lifts and inspires you to be a better citizen, regardless of what John Key may think [hat tip to Morgue] – dude, you’re a rich, middle class, white boy with friends on the Business Round Table and policies that are near identical to your chief opposition, the incumbent party, Labour, you even cited NZ’s last inspiring politician, David Lange (a Labour party Prime Minister), as a good reason to not have Roger Douglas in your cabinet! WHAT THE FUCK are you on about?!

Forget that as we draw to closer to the end of the election cycle, the minority parties tell us the same thing – Greens will go with Labour, Jim Anderton virtually IS Labour, Maori will threaten that they can work with National, Winston will go with the highest bidder and Peter Dunne will happily suck off whoever wins (yes, I went there but you all know it’s true) …

Forget, even, that Stuff managed to use the US Elections as a ruse to get rid of Tim Pankhurst this cycle and freed us all of … well actually, no, the Dominion Post is still shit with or without Pankhurst, which is frankly depressing.

This is all that the New Zealand election will boil down to:
Voter A: Ooh that Labour party has been in for a bit long now, how ’bout we give that other party a try?
Voter 1: Why?
Voter A: Cos
Voter 1: Fair enough, might do the same.


Well then, here’s my gift to you – vote for a minor party. Yup candidate vote and party vote – split them between two teeny little parties.

Fuck the big parties, fuck them! You want to go left – vote Green, you want to go right, vote ACT, hell if enough of you did it, I bet you could resurrect Alliance and Social Credit. Seriously, let’s break the complacency of those big parties who take our votes for granted and think they can tell us one thing and do something else the second they get in … and let’s fuck with the heads of some of the minor parties – give them more seats than they have members on their list and evenly split parliament so that everyone gets 20 seats each.

Sure it may cause a constitutional crisis when no one has the ability to form a Government, and we’ll have to go through the whole election process again …

But wouldn’t it be a bit of pre Christmas fun?


2 Responses to “The Other Election”

  1. I’m in.
    The election quiz on has been telling everyone to vote for minor parties anyway – I fit best with Maori and Greens apparently. (I cheated though – first time said UF, but I didn’t have any family or morals questions. When I brought those in my response to the gay marriage question got rid of them.)

  2. And frankly, we should just because we can, to make up for all the citizens of other countries where only a major party vote counts, leaving them trapped with shit or even-more-shit as their choices (*coughUKcough*).

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