Woah, I’m Home Before Midnight

I know! Although I do have a pile of work to do so chances are I probably won’t get to bed until 1.30 – 2am as usual …

Today was meant to start well. After days of wearing shorts and trainers, I decided that it would help me to wear something that could, at the very least, project a sense of calm – my “Sweet As Bro” tee shirt. Sure I’d got to bed at around 1.30am and was up for no reason at all at 6am even though I had set my alarm for 7.30am … but that was cool, I had figured that an early start would mean I’d get more done.

I am such a Fringe virgin.

9 am – Get to the garage (where all of our print is stored), take the printer out of the box, the cable, the cartridges, the instruction manual … no USB cable … maybe this is a wireless printer?

No. In the UK, some printers don’t come with a USB cable – what fucking country had goods that can’t be used because they don’t have all of the necessary parts, on purpose! Cue me running back down to Princes Street to find a cable.

Now the next bit is my fault, it’s been a busy few days so it’s fair to say, I’m not keeping everything in my head properly … I get the wrong cable. Run back to the garage. Start loading the software on my computer, calculating that if I just move this meeting 15 minutes later, I’m cool.

Try to fit the cable to the printer.


Run back to Princes Street to get a new cable.

Now calculate that I will need a taxi to get to my next meeting.

11am – Finally I get the printer loaded, the paper in and everything going. Fill up my bags with fliers, grab a cab to the Pleasance for a meeting, do the meeting, sort out one of my street team, start the tech, sort out another two members of my street team, deliver a script to Deborah and hoof it across town to do a pack in … forgetting that the CD to Deborah’s show is in my bag … call from Deborah, while I’m trying to set up the stage for Lies Have Been Told (which is in the theatre late because the previous show ran over by 10 minutes) … massively dropped the ball on this one, Jeremy takes my phone and covers while I finish the set up, grab my phone back, jump in a cab (the slowest cab driver in the world who then slowly counts out some coins for my change) and make it back to the Pleasance Cabaret Bar (sprinting past bemused onlookers) 10 minutes before the show starts at 2.30.

Then it’s off to sort out papering some of Hil’s preview, it’s going to take a while to get the tickets so I head off to get a monitor for the show, stopping on the way to the Pleasance Dome to sort out Philip’s tickets, but I’m stuck behind a woman who needs to keep consulting with her friends on what tickets to purchase and whether she’s sure she really wants them. Sonal, now, now, a bit of patience. Her friends where on the other side of the hall way, so with each consultation she would walk away 10 metres and then walk back with her decision.

So, I go get the monitor instead, walk 5 metres down the street, realise I have the wrong monitor, turn around, get the right monitor, run back to the Gilded Balloon, up the stairs to give the monitor to Damian, Hil’s tech, grab the give away tickets from our pigeon hole, hand them to my street lad, head back to the Pleasance to sort out Philip’s tickets … but the system is broken, run to the Pleasance Courtyard to do them there instead and this time, during the wait I realise that it’s 4pm and I still haven’t had lunch (breakfast was a chocolate slice left over from yesterday’s lunch). So I buy a coke, guzzle it and sit in the light drizzle for the first time all day.

Get the tickets to Philip’s show – take them up to my street lass, head down for Philip’s show and listen to the woes of his tech who has waaay too much work given to her by the other company she works for, and get some perspective. Finally at about 7, I sit in the bar with my laptop and catch up with Jeremy on the day and what needs to happen next.

Thankfully not much. It’s a wet day and all of our shows have been reporting back that the previewing audiences seem to be holding back. So with a pile of work to do in the evening, I figure, sod it, my friend has a show on, I need a break, I’ll go and be the friendly face who isn’t afraid to laugh. So after dropping off the stickers for tomorrow’s print run (that I need to do) and checking the mail at all of our venues, bumping into Matt again (and this time, Charlotte, he tells me of how you were asleep the last time he tried to catch up with you) I finally make it back to the Assembly for Neil’s show at 8.45pm.

At long last, having made my excuses to Neil about not hanging around the Assembly for long tonight as I still have a ton of work to get done before tomorrow, I make it home in the driving rain to find that someone fixed the secondary door to the tenement and locked it. No one in my flat has a key, the door has been busted for over three years. Thankfully Sally and our house guests Jack and Eddie are home and let me in, and Jack and Eddie have been cooking.

So here I sit with half a plate of lasagne that I could only eat a few bites of because I feel full. It’s the only meal I’ve had all day, it’s sodding delicious and I can’t stand to look at it anymore.

Bastard stomach.


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