Etiquette and Facebook Part 5 – TPS Reports

Oh no, it’s happened … You may, in an unusual unguarded moment, possibly due an accidental over consumption of margaritas, have let slip to you colleagues and/or boss that you have a Facebook account … and now, you have a friends request from one of them staring at you from your monitor (at the same time, the aforementioned colleague beams a smile from across the room).

Or … and this is what happened to me … your boss actually says to you (after you tell him to find you, knowing that your name is so common that there are hundreds and you are safely anonymous) “Sonal, you haven’t sent me a friends invite”.


What to do?

Ok, this is what I did: I added him and then after a couple of weeks removed him. I know, bold right? A couple of weeks later:

Boss (and by the way, hi, I know you read this from time to time): Sonal, I’m a little concerned.
Sonal (worried that she’s missed something huge on an upcoming event): Why [boss], what’s happened?
Boss: We’re no longer friends.
Sonal: What?
Boss: We’re no longer friends on Facebook …

Oh shit. Oh yes. I had been caught and there was only one way I could go with this:

Sonal: You know what [boss], there are just some things a girl doesn’t need her boss to know about her while she’s working for him.

I think he was a touch disappointed … oh well. Even though there are two people on my list whom I have yet to actually meet in person, I still stand by my decision … people with whom you have a shared interest/philosophy/world view is one thing, your boss is entirely different. You work together, you joke in work hours, share stories, telling tall tales maybe, but they’re still your boss. They don’t need to know your travel plans or your extra curricular activities outside of the work place – even if they are cool enough to understand.

So there is that option. Otherwise you could try one of these:

Ignore the request
Yeah, you’ve got bigger ones than me. What you could do is just sit on it for days upon days on end, saying that you haven’t been on Facebook this whole time and then eventually ignore the request after a period of six months. Of course, this ruse only works if you haven’t befriended any other colleagues.

Accept the request but use a limited profile on them
Our lovely ladies Tamasha and Lou have made good use of the limited profile feature. So long as your colleagues aren’t obsessively checking out your profile, I think it works fine. I’ve yet to be on the receiving end of one (either that or I’m not checking certain profiles out at all) but, as I have mentioned on an earlier etiquette musing , if you do find yourself on the receiving end then perhaps you should just remove each other and live happily there after for both your sakes …

Accept the request and then remove them
Yes, you can do what I did. Or you can wait for around three months and then do it.

Leave the country
Also a good way to avoid these things …


2 Responses to “Etiquette and Facebook Part 5 – TPS Reports”

  1. On the subject of facebook I must share an amusing anecdote: I made a new friend (a new actual feminist friend, at that), and she sent me a Christmas Card… whilst the card was on its way the subject of my husband arose (me sort of having forgotten what facebook says), so I mentioned how he’s not actually my husband but more of a facebook husband (she agrees with me about not using the relationship status to transmit actual relationship status (unless doing so for a strategic purpose as the owner of this blog has, of course))… anyway… she sort of went ‘oh… oh um…’ and yeah, had sent a Christmas card addressed to “Lou and Hubby”. Brilliant. I’ll have to remember in future that having false information on facebook can transfer to real life…

  2. OK. Get out of my head. That whole first paragraph is exactly what recently happened to me down to the margaritas.

    And, I chose limited profile, btw.


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