Dear Mr Cunliffe

I know today is cabinet two-step/rejuvenation/escape the sinking ship while you can day and you must be wondering what portfolios Our Dear Benevolent Leader has in mind for you …

If you are gunning to be thought of as a potential Minister of Foreign Affairs after next year’s election, it may help you to know that Nobel Laureate, Rabindranath Tagore is Bengali not Bangladeshi.

Come to think of it, if you’re gunning to be the new Minister for Trade then our potential trading partner India (the one we really want a free trade agreement with, remember?) may not be too pleased that you’ve traded their greatest poet for a few votes from the good Bangladeshi voters of Tauranga. Especially after your own immigration officers refused to issue visas to 17 (out of a party of 30) Indian business delegates a couple of weeks back.

I have to say, great of you to open your speech on immigration by quoting a poet who probably wouldn’t qualify for residency under the current or new legislation … you should have stuck to cricket – I’m sure the Black Caps could do with a few ring-ins.

p.s. Dear Senior Advisor to the Minister of Immigration – you should probably fact check your speech before handing it over to your Minister, make Google your friend. Otherwise I will be home in March, hire me, I will show you how to Google.

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