An Odd Question For You
I’m curious. Conversation in the flat tonight about a flattie’s friend and the engagement ring that said friend received.
Now apparently the lady in question was none too happy about the actual ring which led to a discussion about expectations surrounding an engagement ring. I’ve had this discussion a couple of times before and every time I notice just ever so slightly, of my friends who would like to, one day, get married that I may be the only one who couldn’t give a toss about the ring.
Forget the fact that I don’t have a man to start with, I’ve only just started being attracted to guys again, dating anyone is going to be a huge step. So clearly everything I’m dealing with here is hypothetical.
Usually when I try to start a group discussion, no one comments, so we’ll see how this goes …
Here’s the thing. I have no doubt that everyone who wishes to get married does it purely for love and not for the ring that they may receive, well I certainly hope so anyway. My personal not caring about a ring isn’t one of those passive aggressive “I don’t care but it would be nice if you got me one, not that I want one, no pressure, I’m just saying but I don’t want you to think I saying that so that you think I want one, I’m just shooting the breeze is all, I don’t even know why I’m mentioning engagement rings, what about that All Black’s game next week” things or for any political or feminist reasons which are all perfectly legitimate (well, maybe not the passive aggressive one – that’s just trouble, run, run away). I genuinely don’t care. Ring? Whatever. If Mr Imaginary Man is brave enough to want to spend the rest of his life with me then I think he’s done enough (I may have to have him committed to a hospital, however, as he is clearly, certifiably, insane). I’d be happily engaged, even happily married sans ring.
Usually I guess that my friends tend to have the same opinions as me … however I think that may be the egotistical part of me that likes to think I’m right all of the time (what am I saying, I am right all of the time and don’t need you to make me feel righteous … please make me feel righteous). So, without incriminating yourself (especially those of you in relationships) what is your feeling towards the ring?
Do you care, even a teeny weeny bit, like a smidgen, even if only for your parent’s sake? Or is there something very important to you about having an engagement ring (family traditions etc.)?