Things That I Would Not Have Known If I Hadn’t Come To London

I’m trying to be positive. I’m really trying to not let the last few battles with the moronic, large corporations who run the water and the phones get to me (the gas, electric and council tax folk were very helpful so not everyone is that bad).

So, following on from yesterday – if I had not come to London, I would not have known that:

1. I can shuck oysters.
My love of oysters seems to have also given me a natural talent for getting into them. I managed to do 50 oysters in a little over an hour. Ok, that sounds slow but it was my first time, I didn’t cut myself or lose an eye, I didn’t wear any gloves and for the most part the shells remained intact (you should’ve seen me towards the end – they looked beautiful). It was my flatmate Rhonda’s birthday party today and she hates the job. I volunteered because I figure I should learn how to should the need ever arise (I don’t know, I could be stuck on an island where the only food available was oysters and I just happened to conveniently have upon my person an oyster shucking knife … what? It could happen …). And before you kick in with aphrodisiac gags, having eaten oysters from a very young age I am either a) immune to their abilities or b) one hot mamma 😉 .

2. I can stay on my feet for 6 hours in stiletto heels.
Without any pain, no falling, no spilling of things down my dress (but I did manage to lose a bit of popcorn down my cleavage). Poised and composed in strappy heels, serving, cleaning, assembling, dancing. Admittedly got to and from my destination wearing a pair of flat shoes and carrying the heels in my handbag. New lesson learnt – always invest in a handbag that can carry a spare set of shoes.

3. Yup, you do, eventually, get over it.
For the new comers I won’t bore you with a recap, you can pretty much guess that I’m talking about a broken heart and there’s plenty of background info here, here and here if you’re looking for it. Kathryn, who was home at the time it all exploded, reckoned that it would take me 18 months to start feeling ok again. She was right (damn her!). I am back to normal and better than ever – hooray!


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