A question for you

It was sparked by the old (and may I add completely redundant) list I posted last week … a comment Tamasha made started a wee email conversation which, in a nutshell, went something like this (paraphrased with artistic license):

Sonal posts: In an effort to think positive, I wrote a list on what my future manfriend will be like … I was silly, but we can laugh about it now …
Tamasha comments: Funny. Funny is good. If he thinks I am and I think he is = happy.
Sonal emails: Funny was a problem for me back in the day: Funny = cute = little sister = Sonal. Typical conversations followed this pattern “Oh Sonal, you’re so funny … is [insert friend’s name here] single, has she, mentioned me at all to you?”
Tamasha emails: “But if you’re funny, you can’t NOT be funny. And guys always say the want someone funny. But really, first and foremost, they want someone HOT”

Tamasha meant that comically, obviously, we don’t really think that grown up men think like that (all of the wonderful men who are my friends certainly don’t) … but, during my teenage years and admittedly into my early 20s (until I was actually in a relationship) I really did think this statement was true.

So, ladies and gentlemen, I have shared many tales of anguish (and yes, paraphrased as it may be, I really have had boys I’ve liked ask me if they have a chance with my friend … more than once … possibly 3 times … or more …) as well as amusing stories at my own expense … I’m asking you to share with me.

Don’t run away! I don’t want your deepest and darkest tale of shame (although if you went to Uni with me in both the UK or NZ, or were around during Young and Hungry ’98, then you probably owe me an embarrassing tale or five).

This is all I want to know: What did you once think the fairer sex (boy or girl) was thinking? Did we all once think that the other was only ever going to be after Hot and never want witty, yet pretty, us?


5 Responses to “A question for you”

  1. This is a very loaded question, no? How much of it has to do with the local “ideal” where one has grown up, and how much one fits into that ideal?

    I find witty and pretty to be much more lethal than Hot. With a capital H. 😉

  2. Aye, you have a point. Hot in NZ probably means something completely different in NY … if anything, our assumptions reveal a lot about our own insecurities.

    Plus I don’t think I was the easiest person to get along with during high school in the first place – I was determined to be known as the class clown … oh yes, I was that kid at school.

  3. I was even thinking more simplistically like being in a country or city where everyone has black hair, or brown skin, and how that affects what’s hot or not.

    I was a pain in HS too, but mostly because I thought I was better than everyone else. Too cool for school – really because I was shy.

  4. P.S. Sorry, one more thing: Eventually, my senior year of high school, I did get the guy. He wasn’t one I had pined over forever, but he was the mysterious artist. He just fell in love with me for whatever reason, and I fell back. We were super serious and everyone was at first shocked, but then they realized how much sense it made.

    I don’t know if that applies to your question, but it seemed relevant. It made me think differently about things. And, by the way, we were together officially for two years and unofficially for like 5. 😉

  5. I think if I answer this question seriously you’ll send me to a psychologist. Suffice to say that between my mean brother and the mean rugby guys I went to school with in the rugby-dominated backwash of Invercargill, I assumed that they were always thinking mean and nasty things about me. It was always a very big surprise when they’d go for me (in fact, I have had more than one instance of assuming someone was playing a mean joke if I was told someone liked me).

    (back then I certainly didn’t understand the drawing power of the cleavage)

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