Etiquette and Facebook Part 3 – Sonalmashi answers your questions

I will try and make this my last post on the subject of Facebook, it’s just that I’ve been going through my blog statistics and the majority of search terms in the last few weeks have involved some poor paranoid souls who have been muddling their way through the precarious online world of social networking. They’ve turned to the Morgue inspired Jane Austen post (the most popular one on this blog) and then tried to find solace in the slightly more serious one started by my mother’s stalking requests …

Well my little virtual social butterflies, Sonalmashi (Aunty Sonal, or if you prefer for me to be related to your father, Sonalfoi) is going to give it one last shot to help you avoid those sleepless nights spent fretting over your potential social networking faux pas …

Dear Sonalmashi, how do I successfully stalk someone on Facebook?
Uh … yeah, I’m not going to help you with that one.

But I really …
No. If you can’t figure it out for yourself then I’m not going to help you.

But you did it.
On my mother’s behalf ok?

What’s the difference?
Plenty! Now, I’m not going to help you on this …

I’m stalking you right now
Oh whatever … what?

I can see you …
Er … moving right along …

You’ve been cleaning your keyboard with a cotton bud …

Dear Sonalfoi, what happens when you change your relationship status on Facebook?
Sweetheart, you’ve hit a wee minefield. After a strawpoll of about five people (1 real and the rest I made up), the best plan is to never put up your relationship status in the first place.

But you did … nice hoodie by the way.
Well, yes stalker, you’re right, I did. Mostly because it was the kinder option than my long lost friends feeling mortified by my response whenever they asked how David was …

Go edit your profile and remove the option all together, then delete it off your mini-feed, hopefully that will stop the story ever going out into the main feed – also change the settings on your newsfeed (in the privacy section, top right hand corner) so that certain details will never be published. That way only people who actually visit your profile page will know (if you want them to). So for the person who has been searching for an answer and coming to this blog everyday over the last couple of weeks – I hope this helps.

Dear Sonal
Sorry? Who?

*sigh* Dear Sonalmashi
Yes my little chrysalis?

I got a friend request from someone who I really don’t want to be in contact with ever.
Ah, yeah … I’ve covered this a little in the earlier post but after consulting a few other folks on the issue some have chosen to limit their profiles, others have ignored requests entirely … if you are going to ignore however, maybe sit with the invite for a few weeks until the person may have forgotten that they sent it and then quietly delete it – they will never know. And they won’t know if you remove them either …

And finally …

Hi Sonalfoi, what are some Mandarin phrases that may come in handy at the next birthday event I attend?
Well, you can’t really go wrong with zhu ni shreng ri kuai li

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