Hey God!


What is up with this fucking rain?

Don’t swear.

Sorry, so what is up with the rain.

It comes down.

What does?

The rain, rain doesn’t go up, it comes down.

Wow, you’re so very, very witty, been waiting since creation to get that out have you?

Hey, you don’t even believe in me …


I’m God, Sonal, I know everything.

I’m trying Fate.

It’s not the same.

Well, you’re talking to me aren’t you?

You’re the one who’s doing the typing, I’m just a character in that twisted mind of yours …

So God, are you in fact saying, on record, that you may not exist.

What do you want Sonal? I’m a busy … I’m busy

This rain.


It’s summer, it’s freakin’ summer.


It’s raining!

Yes, you get that in summer. You’d be mad at me if it didn’t rain at all in summer

Not every sodding day of the week since May!

You’ve had some sun

What, a week?

And it’s been warm

I want a refund.

What refund?

I want my money back now.

Sonal, I’m God, I don’t have any money, no need for it you see, I just make what I want, can destroy what I want too if you get my meaning …

Don’t threaten me big fella, I know where you live.

No you don’t, that’s why you were an atheist, remember? Now how did that work out for you?


And now?

Uh … I’m … er … um, so can you do something about this weather?

La-la-la-la-la I can’t hear you, because apparently I don’t exist, la-la-la-la-la

So what is it then?

Global warming darling, nothing to do with ME!

Any advice?

Start building an ark …


One Response to “Hey God!”

  1. Lou: Hey God…
    Sonal: What are you doing?
    Lou: Talking to God.
    Sonal: No, I mean, what are you doing stealing my blog content?
    Lou: Well, I’m not really stealing it as I’m writing this in the comments of your blog. I’m more saying ‘you’re really hilarious and I’ve got something I want to ask about too’.
    Sonal: Well, you’ve already stolen one thing today. It’s taking the piss to now do this.
    Lou: Look I’m sorry, I’ll just ask a quick question.
    Sonal: Okay. But don’t go stealing any more of my stuff.
    Lou: Okay okay… So God…
    God: Yes?
    Lou: You don’t really mind swearing do you?
    God: What do you mean?
    Lou: What do you mean, what do I mean? It’s a pretty straightforward question. I just noticed that you told Sonal off for swearing, and I wanted to know if you were just trying to aggravate her or if you do actually mind swearing?
    God: If I say that I don’t mind swearing will you convert back to Christianity?
    Lou: Maybeeee….
    God: Are you just saying that, or will you actually consider it?
    Lou: To be honest, I just don’t really “get” the whole religion thing. I’m sorry, I’ve tried, but I just don’t “get” it.
    God: I really do mind swearing. I’m going to smite you next time you say fuck.
    Lou: Fuck.
    Lou: You didn’t smite me.
    God: You caught me off guard. Do it again.
    Lou: No.
    Sonal: Hey guys? This has gone on for quite a while now. I’d quite like it if we could just finish it here.
    God: For fuck’s sake Sonal, we’re trying to have a debate. I was just about to smite her.
    Lou: Ha! You just swore.
    God: No I didn’t.
    Lou: Yes you did!
    Sonal: You did God, I heard you too.
    God: I did not.
    Lou: You did! You said fuck….
    Sonal: Wow, you’re good at this smiting thing. That’ll teach her for taking over my blog.

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