Daily Cerealisation – dirty creatures Ep. 4

Two new guards appear, they belong to the Leader of the Free World. They check the corridor and pat down Guards B & C they pat down the Playwright, nod to each other and one exits …

Playwright: What are you going to do to me?

Dictator: We are going to make you a legend.

Two short sharp beats are heard down the corridor. The Leader of the Free World enters with his own entourage of three guards behind him is Guard A.

Playwright: What does that mean?

Dictator: Mr President.

Leader: Mr Presi … no, wait, wrong file, let’s have a look. New Zealand, New Zealand, New here it is, sheep, dairy, Lord of the Rings and … Prime Minister. Hello Ms Prime Minister

Dictator: No sir, it’s (Deputy Prime Minister).

Leader: No?

Dictator: Deputy Prime Minister.

Leader: Deputy?

Dictator: Yes sir.

Leader: I’m talking to the Deputy.

Dictator: Yes. Mr Deputy …

Leader: I was under the impression that I would be meeting the Prime Minister.

Dictator: She sends her apologies sir (but the Prime Minister) …

Leader: It’s very unusual, it’s not like I’m from some two bit pacific island that no has ever heard about …

Dictator: She is very sorry sir, but as this isn’t an official state visit, then the Prime Minister would like the arrangement to be as discreet as possible.

Leader: Really.

Dictator: Yes sir, she feels that it would be inappropriate for you both (to be involved) …

Leader: She wants to keep her hands clean?

Dictator: In a manner of speaking.

Leader: Deputy Prime Minister. I’m so used to saying General these days … Prime Minister, it’s almost quaint …

Dictator: Deputy.

Leader: Quite.

Dictator: I’d like you to meet our esteemed guest, Enemy of the State Number 228.

Leader: 328.

Dictator: No, 228 sir.

Leader: It says here 328.

Dictator: No, sir, that’s a 2.

Leader: Are you sure?

Dictator: Yes, this is Enemy of the State Number 228.

Leader: My information says 328.

Dictator: No sir it’s 228.

Playwright: It’s Nate.

Leader: Well, I think if you look here you’ll find that it’s … 228. Did you know this?

Leaders Guards severally: Yes Sir. No Sir. Uh …

Dictator: We order our guests sequentially he’s actually number two hund(red and twenty eight).

Leader: Yes I understand that. It just that … I’m not waiting until we get to 328.

The Leader brings out a hoodie with “328” printed on the front in big bold numbers.

Dictator: That’s very kind of you Mr President, I’m sure 228 will be honoured to wear your gift.

The Leader gives the hoodie to one of his guards who passes it on to Guard C. Guard C puts the hoodie onto the Playwright while the Leader studies him.

Leader: It will have to do.

© Sonal Patel, 2007


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