Excerpt from the Bunker

Just to prove I am doing something …

Dictator: Mr President.

Leader: Mr Presi … no, wait, it’s not is it? Ah, I’m so sorry, I’ve forgotten again, I’ve been told a thousand times, New Zealand, sheep, dairy, Lord of the Rings and now? No, don’t tell me, it’s … er … it’s … Prime Minister, yes?

Dictator: No sir, it’s (Deputy Prime Minister).

Leader: No?

Dictator: Deputy Prime Minister.

Leader: Deputy?

Dictator: Yes sir.

Leader: I’m talking to the Deputy.

Dictator: Yes.

Leader: I was under the impression that I would be meeting the Prime Minister.

Dictator: She sends her apologies sir (but the Prime Minister) …

Leader: It’s very unusual, it’s not like I’m from some two bit pacific island that no has ever heard about …

Dictator: She is very sorry sir, but as this isn’t an official state visit, then the Prime Minister would like the arrangement to be as discreet as possible.

Leader: Really.

Dictator: Yes sir, she feels that it would be inappropriate for you both (to be involved) …

Leader: She wants to keep her hands clean?

Dictator: In a manner of speaking.

Leader: Deputy Prime Minister. I’m so used to saying General these days … Prime Minister, it’s almost quaint …

Dictator: Deputy.

Leader: Quite.

© Sonal Patel, 2007

And for those of you who were at the reading in December – this is all takes place on page 3 … yes, that’s right, all the stuff before it is gone. Shit, I still have a whole play to write by the end of tomorrow!

Back into the bunker!


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