Don’t let him get away with it.

So last Saturday I was in a bar (yes bar, not pub, it had ceiling to floor windows!) with Lou (and Lotte, Cara, Chris and Chris’ friend) while she was texting jokes to her former boss. They all had a New Zealand flavour to them so I contributed an old classic …

An Englishman, an American, a Frenchman and a New Zealander are on a chartered flight.
Suddenly the plane engines seize up and the plane takes a dive.
The pilot, after an awful lot of swearing, struggles into the main cabin. He throws a parachute pack to the men and says “Uh, yeah, we’ve only got two and I’m taking one”. He opens the door to the outside world “see ya!” and jumps.

The four men look at the pack and try to avoid one another’s gaze.

Eventually the American stands up. He stands tall and proud and says “God Bless America” and throws himself out the door to his death.

The Englishman is kind of embarrassed by this display of patriotism so he stands up, not so tall, and feeling more than a little put upon, and mutters “God Save the Queen” and throws himself out of the door to his death.

The two remaining men sit looking at the parachute and sneaking looks at each other.

Eventually, the New Zealander stands up and says:

“Remember the Rainbow Warrior!”

And throws the Frenchman out the door.

Okay, I admit, it’s only, probably, funny to New Zealanders, and only those old enough to remember what actually happened. If you want a bit of background then check here and here – yes it was state sponsored terrorism that infringed upon the sovereignty of a democratic nation … but we were New Zealand, the US Administration was already labelling our Labour government as Communist (they couldn’t have been more wrong) and so no one really cared very much … aside from the French government who did everything possible to stop a trial and even have their agents identity revealed on NZ television as recently as last year. It’s certainly a part of some New Zealander’s psyche and, for me anyway, along with the strong antinuclear sentiments that were around at that time, makes up a huge part of my national identity.

Sonal, as interesting as this history lesson is (‘cos I clearly have hours of my life that I am never going to get back to give you), what the hell has this got to do with anything?

Well it turns out that one of the fellas behind the bombing has turned up as an arms dealer in Washington … I hope he’s deported, I really hope he is.

That’s it? I sat through this just for one article?

Yes. Yes you did.


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