Daily Cereal: Bury the Cat – Ep. 7

Back at home …

Hi you’ve reached the home of June and Eddie, the fish can’t answer the phone right now and neither can we. Eddie, we don’t have fish. Don’t tell them that, otherwise they’ll think there’s no one guarding the house. You think a fish is going to stop thieves? It’s pretty special fish. Eddie, the good people on the other end of this line just want to leave a message. Well they can, I mean you can. Leave us a message after the tone and we’ll call you back. Unless you’re trying to make us give you money. In which case we won’t. Bye. I think that went ok. Did you stop the recording? Oh sh.

Eddie: Um hi, it’s me. Um. Yeah. That was. Well, you know … er … I’ve um … in case you’re wondering I stopped by and um … I got my … I just thought I’d get out of your way, you know, and um … it’s just probably best this way, we just keep coming to this place and, well, um … yeah. Ok, I’d better go, I’m running out of credit so, yeah … ‘kay … bye.


Mark: What’s up?

Clare: It’s June, she sounds weird?

Mark: What do you mean “weird”?

Clare: Listen to this.

Clare puts the phone to Mark’s ear. He listens to the message.

Mark: Yeah, we’re going over there.


Mum: June? June?

Dad: She must be in the loo.

Mum: June? Are you in there?

She opens the bathroom door.

Mum: Not here.


Hi this is June Myers. I can’t take your call right now, so leave a message after the beep unless you’re Eddie Morgan in which case you can go fuck off, die and then rot in hell … thanks for calling.


© Sonal Patel, 2007


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