Daily Cereal: Beginnings – Ep 23.

Last time on Daily Cereal, Nic was being whisked away in a car by his mother, his sister and a convoy of Indian women.

Meanwhile … the two officers are also in the back seat of a car. The slightly senior officer is wedged between his colleague and a very slobbery dog.

Driver: And I said to him, there’s no fucking way I’m paying that, I’m not in the residential zone.

Officer 2: We don’t deal with parking.

Driver: I was clearly outside the white box.

Officer 2: It’s a council thing.

A convoy passes them on Ruahine Street …

Driver: And he said, too late I’ve printed it.

Officer 2: They actually contract it out.

Driver: I know you guys are working on commission, you’ve got this quota thing, my friend (told me) …

Officer 1: Stop.

Driver: I thought you said Miramar?

Officer 1: Stop the car now.

Officer 2: What?

Officer 1: I said stop the fucking car!

The car comes to a sudden stop and of course as everyone is wearing a seat belt (yes, including the dog) all are safe.

Officer 1: Get out of the car.

Driver: Don’t I get anything?

Officer 1: Our eternal gratitude and thanks.

Driver: You fucking (cheap shit) …

The officers cross to the other side of the road.

Officer 2: What are you doing?

Somewhere in Kilbirnie …

Madhuri: Are you sure you know where you’re going?

Ganga: Stop worrying, we’ll get there fine.

Madhuri: Oh? When was the last time you drove outside of Kilbirnie?

Ganga: I go outside of Kilbirnie all of the time.

Madhuri: Where?

Ganga: Newtown.

Madhuri: We’re going to Karori. Do you know how to get to Karori?

Ganga: Yes …

Madhuri: Do you know you’ll have to go through town to get there?

Ganga: Fine, I’ll ask those policemen.

She pulls over.

Madhuri: Why has he got his thumb out like that?

Ganga: I don’t know. Um, excuse me how do I get to Karori.

The officers, relieved to be finally picked up, climb into the back seat of the car.

Officer 1: Thank you so much ma’am we’re very, very grateful.

Ganga: Eh? What are you doing?

Officer 1: I thought (you were) …

Ganga: I just want to go to Karori.

Officer 1: Yes, and we’re here to help you.

Madhuri: By jumping in the car?

Officer 1: Ah, yes. It’s a new service. We take you to your destination.

Ganga: Oh that’s nice.

Madhuri: Isn’t it a bit odd?

Ganga: No, it’s nice.

Madhuri: It’s odd.

Officer 1: I can drive if you like.

Ganga: Oh, I don’t (know about that) …

Madhuri: Ok, that sounds good.

Ganga: I …

Madhuri: Go on, swap seats.

Officer 2: Where in Karori would you ladies like to go?

Madhuri: Cemetery please, and hop to it!

Officer 2: Visiting friends past?

Ganga: No, we’re taking my nephew there.

Officer 2: Oh I’m so sorry.

Ganga: Oh no, he’s fine.

Officer 1: Are you travelling on your own?

Madhuri: We wouldn’t be if some one could drive faster.

Officer 1: So you were following other cars?

Madhuri: Were.

Ganga: I ran out of petrol, what did you want me to do?

Madhuri: Not let you car run empty!

Officer 1: Karori Cemetary?

Madhuri: And I said hop to it! What kind of driving do you call this?

Could it all be, finally, coming together? We live in hope …

© Sonal Patel, 2007


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