Daily Cereal: Beginnings – Ep 23.
Last time on Daily Cereal, Nic was being whisked away in a car by his mother, his sister and a convoy of Indian women.
Meanwhile … the two officers are also in the back seat of a car. The slightly senior officer is wedged between his colleague and a very slobbery dog.
Driver: And I said to him, there’s no fucking way I’m paying that, I’m not in the residential zone.
Officer 2: We don’t deal with parking.
Driver: I was clearly outside the white box.
Officer 2: It’s a council thing.
A convoy passes them on Ruahine Street …
Driver: And he said, too late I’ve printed it.
Officer 2: They actually contract it out.
Driver: I know you guys are working on commission, you’ve got this quota thing, my friend (told me) …
Officer 1: Stop.
Driver: I thought you said Miramar?
Officer 1: Stop the car now.
Officer 2: What?
Officer 1: I said stop the fucking car!
The car comes to a sudden stop and of course as everyone is wearing a seat belt (yes, including the dog) all are safe.
Officer 1: Get out of the car.
Driver: Don’t I get anything?
Officer 1: Our eternal gratitude and thanks.
Driver: You fucking (cheap shit) …
The officers cross to the other side of the road.
Officer 2: What are you doing?
Somewhere in Kilbirnie …
Madhuri: Are you sure you know where you’re going?
Ganga: Stop worrying, we’ll get there fine.
Madhuri: Oh? When was the last time you drove outside of Kilbirnie?
Ganga: I go outside of Kilbirnie all of the time.
Madhuri: We’re going to Karori. Do you know how to get to Karori?
Ganga: Yes …
Madhuri: Do you know you’ll have to go through town to get there?
Ganga: Fine, I’ll ask those policemen.
She pulls over.
Madhuri: Why has he got his thumb out like that?
Ganga: I don’t know. Um, excuse me how do I get to Karori.
The officers, relieved to be finally picked up, climb into the back seat of the car.
Officer 1: Thank you so much ma’am we’re very, very grateful.
Ganga: Eh? What are you doing?
Officer 1: I thought (you were) …
Ganga: I just want to go to Karori.
Officer 1: Yes, and we’re here to help you.
Madhuri: By jumping in the car?
Officer 1: Ah, yes. It’s a new service. We take you to your destination.
Ganga: Oh that’s nice.
Madhuri: Isn’t it a bit odd?
Ganga: No, it’s nice.
Madhuri: It’s odd.
Officer 1: I can drive if you like.
Ganga: Oh, I don’t (know about that) …
Madhuri: Ok, that sounds good.
Ganga: I …
Madhuri: Go on, swap seats.
Officer 2: Where in Karori would you ladies like to go?
Madhuri: Cemetery please, and hop to it!
Officer 2: Visiting friends past?
Ganga: No, we’re taking my nephew there.
Officer 2: Oh I’m so sorry.
Ganga: Oh no, he’s fine.
Officer 1: Are you travelling on your own?
Madhuri: We wouldn’t be if some one could drive faster.
Officer 1: So you were following other cars?
Ganga: I ran out of petrol, what did you want me to do?
Madhuri: Not let you car run empty!
Officer 1: Karori Cemetary?
Madhuri: And I said hop to it! What kind of driving do you call this?
Could it all be, finally, coming together? We live in hope …
© Sonal Patel, 2007