Daily Cereal: Beginnings – Ep 17.

One upon a time, on Daily Cereal, there was a young man called Nikul. He went through life, doing what you do, not getting noticed, living his life. And then one day his sister came home with a bloody axe …

Well, Nic (who is the same Nikul) has woken up, in the dark. He tries to sit up and bangs his head on the ceiling. The ceiling is very close to the floor? That doesn’t make sense … have I died, oh my god, I’ve been buried alive. They thought I was dead but I’m alive!

Nic bangs on the ceiling.

Nic: Help, I’m alive! Someone, please help me!

The ceiling sounds a bit metallic … they could’ve spent a little bit on a decent coffin … what am I thinking?

Nic: Help me, please!

Voices: Hang on, hang on, keep it down, will ya?

There’s light and just blocking the sun are two police officers.

Eh? Why is my funeral outside? Oh wait, something happened last night … Oh yeah, oh shit.

The two police officers pull Nic out of the car. They’re outside of Wrights Hill, they walk into the network of tunnels.

Nic: You’re not going to kill me are you?

One of the officers snigger.

Officer 1: That’s illegal sir.

Officer 2: Although …

Officer 1: No, it’s just too messy.

Officer 2: But (this is pretty messy) …

Officer 1: Messier then.

Nic: Wha-wha-what-wha-what you going to do?

Officer 1: Oh don’t worry, you’ll be fine here.

Nic: Wha-wha-what am I doing here?

Officer 2: Sir, we need you’re help.

Nic: What do you want me to do?

Officer 2: We need you to be very, very quiet.

Nic: Ok.

Officer 1: And not go anywhere.

Nic: Mm, hmm.

They arrive in one of the gun stores.

Officer 1: In fact, we need you to stay here?

Nic: Here?

The officers nod.

Nic: For how long?

The officers look at each other and almost have a whole conversation with his eyes … in fact, if you could hear it, it would go something like this:

Officer 2: Are you going to tell him?

Officer 1: No you are.

Officer 2: Don’t you have seniority?

Officer 1: Yes, I’m telling you to tell him.

Officer 2: You’re a real bastard you know.

Officer 1: Yup.

The officers turn back to him.

Officer 2: A wee while.

Nic: And how long’s that?

The officers look at each other (you can imagine how that conversation goes) and look back at Nic.

© Sonal Patel, 2007


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