From the Graveyard

I’ve been digging through boxes of old notebooks, desperately looking for inspiration to turn into film scripts … why film scripts? It’s a long story.

A very long story.

One day, when I can laugh about it, you will hear. At the moment, it’s not funny. *sigh*

In the meantime, going through 15 years worth of notebooks ranging from yearly diaries, napkins, coasters, ringbinders and spiral bound bits of paper has revealed these things:

I really thought I was funny as a teenager.
I was actually a bit of a smart arse.
A not funny smart arse who was an angry, angry little girl.

But then there is, however clunky, some things that I like as I grow into my skin and my writing voice – like this poem I wrote for Kathryn when I was 20:

Oh Kathryn, why is it, when you are so tall,
Have a friend like me who is a tad small?
When we walk down Courtenay Place
People stop and stare and hide the smirk on their face.
“The Long and The Short of it” they say with a grin,
Whilst secretly thinking “my wit’s setting in”.
But little do they know that we’ll have our day
For on every topic we’ll have something to say
And if they dare ask to try and outwit us,
They’ll get the full force as if they’ve been hit by a bus.
Questions on weather? We’ll answer “yes”.
“Yes what?” they ask, we reply “guess”.
“What do you mean?” say they who are quite confused,
We’ll then say “you’re welcome” and leave them bemused.

I can see it now like Thelma and Louise,
We’ll drive in big cars, running free in the breeze,
Reckless, gorgeous and young, we’ll never grow old!
(But don’t forget the cardies, cos it might get a bit cold)
We’ll take on the world and see what they will do
When it’s not one quick witted chick, but a very smart two!

The world will be blown away, when we’re centre stage,
The media will cover us on every front page.
“Angelic sweet girls, or demons from hell?”
Eventually, in time, the world will know us well.
We’ll become role models for every young girl
And now is where the marketing machine begins to whirl …

I see t-shirts and dolls and maybe shampoo
And a marketing strategy we’ll have to do.
We could make millions overnight,
If we get our planning right.
Start off slow and give them plenty of tease,
The rest will then follow with much ease.

With this plan in hand we’ll be set up for life,
No more doing dishes or living in strife!
Stick with me, I’ll show you the way
That we can spin gold from something like hay …

Thunderbirds Are Go

Just been called to board my flight. No delays. Nada.

See you on the other side (reluctantly).

Snowed In

Well, I must confess this is going to be an unusual way to contact my mother …

Mum,
I’m snowed in, in London. I’m currently at Kathryn’s house, stuck away from my laptop so I can’t Skype you. It’s Monday and Heathrow airport has closed their runways. The snow has just stopped but is likely to start again at 4 this afternoon and they reckon we’ll be in for 7 inches of snow by tomorrow morning (we currently have about3 -4 inches). By all radio accounts, London has stopped functioning. There are no buses going, Heathrow Express (the train I plan to catch tomorrow) has stopped running and when Kathryn returned home this morning after setting out to work, the normal trains weren’t going either.

My visa expires tomorrow – I’m going to call immigration and ask them what to do if I can’t get to the airport tomorrow because of the snow, or my flight.

So, in short: I may not be back on my flight as expected on Thursday morning.

But I will be with my laptop, with an internet connection, so I’ll keep you updated.

Also, Mum, don’t call me until tomorrow your time. My phone battery is low (and my phone is having problems charging. I need a new phone – um, Bhai, we may need to talk about iPhones).

Yes, it doesn’t rain, it pours.

Or snows … as the case may be.

R.I.P. Dirty Creatures, 2005 – 2009

Remember way back when I started this blog, how I would talk about my great full length play?

The one that was going to shake New Zealand audiences, would play it so close to the edge it would be … er … edgy? My grand opus?

Remember?

Three and a half drafts later, it is time to put my beloved dirty creatures to rest. Yes. To the dark recesses of the hard drive (with a CD copy) it will be committed, never to be seen or heard again.

Over the years I have tried to craft it, I have forgotten what it was that I wanted to say. Even when I was writing it, the premise was not always clear to me. The idea of a artist blowing himself up was intriguing (that was the surprise ending), but I could never get the idea to fully develop into something satisfying.

I don’t know whether this counts as a failure or just part of the journey to something better. I’ve learnt a few lessons from it – for starters, doing a treatment is a really good way to structure a play and if you can’t summarise your play in a sentence, then it’s not going to be clear to the audience either. Well that’s certainly the case for me. At the moment, I don’t feel like I have anything meaningful to say and if anything, I want my work to be meaningful. I don’t want to just be writing for the sake of writing.

There are bits of prose that I’ve been working on (you’ve seen some of it already) and there are a couple of satire pieces I’m working on. But for now, anyway, I think my voice is still to come and that my best writing will arrive in a few years yet.

Just not now.

Hey you!

What happened to the rest of the Holiday 55?

Um … Wall E and Iron Man on blu ray? Followed by a rather obsessive search every time I went online to try and find a definitive edition of Infernal Affairs on blu ray too?

What?

Look it got so obsessive that I didn’t even get the chance to play with my new lightsabre set that I got from Scott for Christmas (yes, he is winning the best little brother ever competition).

Yes the slackness of the blog has not been tightened since I last promised. To tell the truth I think Facebook and Twitter have taken a good part of the daily chit chat load and general outrage. If you’re that interested in what I’m doing, you can follow me on one of those forms (my Twitter is _sonal_). That isn’t to say this is the death of the blog.

Oh … bugger …

It’s just to say that life offline has taken over my time. This also means there has been less of the writing and more of the doing. I’m quite happy with the doing at the moment. But there are a few posts coming in the next couple of weeks.

This is more to confirm that the daily version of Maupuia Masala is now over (something we’ve all known since the start of last year). Postings will be considerably more erratic this year – I’ve already got a hectic schedule that sees me to the end of May, but I will try to check in once a week.

We’ll see.

So did they ever make it to Christmas

No. But they did get there in time for Boxing Day …

Four Calling Birds

It was very kind of you to stop …
No worries.
You have no idea how hard it is to get a cab on Christmas day …
I know.
.
Anyway, we’re very grateful … so, is there much demand for turkeys on Christmas?
You’d be surprised …
Yes, but live turkeys?
*gobble gobble*
Don’t worry about him. He likes you.

Three French Hens

Yes …. I realise that I should have booked a cab last night but … yes, I know it’s a busy … hello? Hello? They’re fully booked.
.
Don’t look at me like that.
That’s the fifth company you’ve tried.
And it’s not my fault they’re all busy. It is Christmas. What? What do you want me to do?

Two Turtle Doves

Fucking pigeons!
Let’s walk, he says. It’ll be fun, he says. Work up an appetite, he says.
I’m right here.
I know.
Look, it can’t be long until we get there. See? We’re here. And Kath’s is … here!
That’s her old place.
Well where is she then?
Turn to the next page. And again.
Oh.

A Partridge In A Pear Tree

Is the cab here?
Nope, we’re walking.
We’re what?
Walking – I’m not paying £37 for a £2 bus journey.
There are no buses! It’s Christmas!
And we’re walking.
To South London?
Yes.
Across the river?
Yes.
It’s going to take us 4 hours to get there!
Well we had better be off then.
.
I hate you.

Wednesday Night Horror Show

In my cheap hotel room the television is set to the 24 hour news network.

On my internet browser I flick between Facebook, Twitter, Reuters and Al J English … it’s Twitter that is winning with the better updates but still no one seems to know what’s going on …

For those of you whose loved ones are in Mumbai, my thoughts are with you – I hope they’re safe xxx