Melbourne By Numbers

31 – Days spent in Melbourne

3 – Weeks of comedy in the Melbourne International Comedy Festival

300 and something – Shows in the Festival

2- Shows I was working on.

340 – Tickets sold to Philip Escoffey’s show in one day

2000 – Alleged number of phone calls received by the box office trying to get tickets in the final days once Philip’s show had sold out the season including his extra shows

17 – Expletives used while while on Skype to Sam and negotiating the automated phone systems of both Vodafone and 3 Mobile Australia. The exact wording was [cover your eyes if you are of a sensitive nature ... actually, if you are of a sensitive nature, what the fuck are you doing reading this blog?]: “oh for fucks sake … fucking cunts fuckers and their fucking automated service, couldn’t give me a normal fucking person! Fucking cunt fuckers can’t fucking do the fucking thing with a fucking human NO they have to use a fucking computer with fucking voice prompts. And they record it. You know what they what they’re going to end up with on the voice bits? FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING CUNTS!”