Vote For Us, Please, God, Vote For Us, Here, Have Some Money!

Also known as Dr Cullen’s speech to the Auckland Chamber of Commerce.

The Labour flavour goes a bit like this:

In the 90s you voted National
And they really fucked it up
They burdened us with the cleaning bill
So you really should shut up

For 9 years we haven’t had the time
To do what we want to do
Like giving the good people tax cuts
Which today I will announce to you

We’ve held off on them these many years
But it was part of the grand plan
To make up for no wage increase
When inflation hit the fan

You probably weren’t expecting it
But I’ve been planning it for awhile
Oh really it’s an election year?
I had no idea, look at me smile

No really, don’t believe the spin
Don’t believe the lies
This honestly isn’t National’s policy
Dressed in red Labour disguise

But funny that you should mention that
Are we near a television?
Have seen the latest poll?
Do you think they’ll buy our revision?